The road is long and hard and as I stood nearly on the precipice of a huge team achievement and was about to start to consolidate, reflect and review another change came into view. A change unexpected and new and which will challenge me in everything I do. However this change came about the day before a very personal achievement in my life.
When someone asked me about my reaction to my work, I replied with "it is fine and it will be fine, with a lot of work to do but to be honest with you my biggest project comes to fruition tomorrow", they asked what is that, thinking they knew everything that was going on in my life (not a member of my immediate team so they would not know all the minutiae) .
My biggest project is and continues to be ............parenting. Having just gone through the stresses and strains of the GCSE's, a delightful set of results which exceeded my daughter's expectations, then there came the wait for college.
I didn't want to receive the calls from parents who had everything sorted, what if I failed project parenting at this crucial time with no place for my daughter and nothing organised, just a large void of expectancy.
A mad dash between two colleges ensued (with the school offer as a final back up) and finally the relief of two offers and then the decision which to take and finally acceptance of a place to study A levels. Phew I thought project parenting can now take it easy for two years, but no, my work colleagues informed me that there are year 1 exams and the traumas of these not being passed played out before me.
A friend rang with GCSE good news but a story about a levels students having to start again, basically going back a year and another shared with me the switch in Uni's from year 1 to year 2. Hmmm this project parenting still has years to go. Whereas with work projects they are timed and controlled.
The worse thing for a control freak is to be out of control and dependent on others which as the child grows older becomes more apparent.
So this parent is going to grow old disgracefully, and in the words of one of my favourite poems, wear purple. At that time the roles will have changed and the anxieties of a parent will move to my child and hopefully her worry about her own project parent ie me!!!
Warning
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Thanks to Jenny Joseph for this inspirational poem
